so there goes my life

And just like that, I’m back to where I was. I’ll never get over it I’ll never be right again I’m too dedicated for happiness. I’d rather die dedicated to the love I let go of than to give up on it and settle for something I think is just as good. Some things really are forever. Sadness just happens to be my “thing”.

Scott pilgrim and the eternal sadness

Tonight was one of the saddest nights I’ve had in a long time, I came home to just feel completely crushed and defeated by life. It’s just a culmination of all the things I’ve had to deal with lately and it’s just such a heavy load to be burdened with. My mother and I both work so hard for next to nothing and it’s just truly such a disheartening feeling to see that nothing is going up. I want so badly to make her proud I want her to be happy and I feel like all I do is depress her. I can’t handle the sadness like this it’s just so hard to feel okay with myself anymore I know I fuck up and I know I hurt people but when does the hurting stop?.. When can I finally start progressing?… Maybe it’s just my mindset that’s off and I need to try harder but I just feel so overwhelmed lately. I need something to strive for, I need goals. I need anything that will occupy my mind and heart that I can attain.

Mercy kill me

Really though, I hate myself and what I’ve become. Put me out of my misery. K thanks.

Conscience (Consequence)

Look how much we disregard ourselves just to treasure someone else.

Uncertainty

It’s just a way of life for me at this point. Drifting in and out of emotions and trying to fill a void I still don’t understand. Closure would have been nice, but i still have these nightmares and my heart is too afraid to get the answers. I’m at a stagnant point in my emotional life and i can’t shake the reality that is the loneliness i can’t get rid of. What do I do?.. I’m hurting those around me because I hurt so much inside and this never ending cycle of heartbreak will only continue until I fix this. I’m just not sure how.

I’m just a voice on the phone

You’re just a face in a frame