things i say constantly
And just like that, I’m back to where I was. I’ll never get over it I’ll never be right again I’m too dedicated for happiness. I’d rather die dedicated to the love I let go of than to give up on it and settle for something I think is just as good. Some things really are forever. Sadness just happens to be my “thing”.
Tonight was one of the saddest nights I’ve had in a long time, I came home to just feel completely crushed and defeated by life. It’s just a culmination of all the things I’ve had to deal with lately and it’s just such a heavy load to be burdened with. My mother and I both work so hard for next to nothing and it’s just truly such a disheartening feeling to see that nothing is going up. I want so badly to make her proud I want her to be happy and I feel like all I do is depress her. I can’t handle the sadness like this it’s just so hard to feel okay with myself anymore I know I fuck up and I know I hurt people but when does the hurting stop?.. When can I finally start progressing?… Maybe it’s just my mindset that’s off and I need to try harder but I just feel so overwhelmed lately. I need something to strive for, I need goals. I need anything that will occupy my mind and heart that I can attain.
Really though, I hate myself and what I’ve become. Put me out of my misery. K thanks.
Look how much we disregard ourselves just to treasure someone else.
It’s just a way of life for me at this point. Drifting in and out of emotions and trying to fill a void I still don’t understand. Closure would have been nice, but i still have these nightmares and my heart is too afraid to get the answers. I’m at a stagnant point in my emotional life and i can’t shake the reality that is the loneliness i can’t get rid of. What do I do?.. I’m hurting those around me because I hurt so much inside and this never ending cycle of heartbreak will only continue until I fix this. I’m just not sure how.
I’m just a voice on the phone
You’re just a face in a frame